Poems for a Poet, Music for a Musician

Who's the one to say something most would think was quite trite

Then proudly proclaim, "I'm so funny tonight!"

Jen is.

- Procopio, 2010

After attending leaving party after leaving party after leaving party for other people, on Saturday, October 16th, it was time to show up at my own. Etienne and Andie graciously opened up their backyard in celebration (mourning?) of the dual departure of Matt Fast and myself, as well as Etienne's "kind of" birthday.

As with any gathering at Ets and Andie's, barbequed meat and boombastic beats were abound. This time, however, the presence of Matt and Jen look-alikes, two small stools and one sizeable screen made it a night unlike any other.

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

[Picture of the girls in spin outfits to be inserted here; no pressure, Alison ;-) ]

Readers may or may not know that a.) I have a habit of writing and reading ridiculous poems on special occasions, and b.) Matt has a habit of bringing punk back to Canada. Kampala friends are acutely aware of these two facts, and went way out of the way to leave us both with something unforgettably apt.

If it weren't for the stool, I would have fallen over when Mama Rowell summoned me to the front of the crowd to reveal my gift: "Poems for a Poet: An Anthology Written for Jen from her Friends."

Twenty-one (I repeat, TWENTY-ONE) past and present Kampala kooks composed literary works of genius, assembled them into an album (with each poem accompanied by a picture handpicked by the poet featuring him/her and myself), and read (or had someone read) them to me, one by one.

One of Crozier's SIX haikus (senryus)

I would have bawled if they weren't so dang funny. There were limericks, Jennericks and acrostics, couplets, quatrains and refrains, haikus, senryus and burlesques (which, for the purposes of this sentence, you should pronounce "bur-les-kyoos"). Meter, rhyme and feet aside (especially feet - I hate feet), all works were titled "Ode to Jen"*, in honor or in jest of the imaginative preamble to all of my prior poems.

Cracking up with Mama Caleb

They covered it all. "Her perma-smile grin and her guttural giggle / Her wet-hair-out look, and wide-eyed dance wiggle" (Glick, 2010). My overly emotional movie watching, over-emotive facial expressions, and fear of the foot: "She screams at the movies / Has a face that cannot lie / Put your feet anywhere near her / And she probably will cry" (Rowell & Mackenzie, 2010). My recently purchased (and more recently sold) Rav4, "Double spoiler, turbo booster and flames that adorn" (Procopio, 2010). My sometimes unhealthy commitment to parties with themes: "She never miss out on a costume bash / From Elphaba to Matoke, she was always a smash! / Unfortunately for her she was the best planner / She carried the load in a creative, humble manner / No party in Kampala could go on without her flash" (Bates, 2010). Though Dorkis and Jorkis seem to remain global favorites, they catalogued my growing list of aliases: Marabou Storkis, Jenners, Jane, Jefferson, Pat, Drama Queen, Captain of Life, Miss Prophylactic, Orkistrator.

They got my love of the boda, my fondness of t-shirts, my upstate accent, my grandma-like phrases, my role as a peddler of condoms. Perhaps most widely documented was my my obsession with subjecting sleepers to Saturday spin. To excerpt but a few:

Hungover as hell,
I quake, fearing the prodding -
"It's time to spin, yo!"
- Crozier, 2010

Swift orders -"'five tequilas!"
Followed by mornings when
You text us "spin" and we oblige
Half dead, at crack of ten
- Boess, 2010

Jen, Jen our lovely friend
She works out like a beast
She even spins on Saturdays
For me, that's quite a feat
- Kwesiga, 2010   

I have half a mind to reproduce every poem here, but certain stanzas aren't fit for shared scansion.

Matt's gift was equally out of this world. Conceived, produced, directed and edited by Ms. Karin Bridger, all of Matt's friends made a wonderfully joyously playful appearance in the dramatically drummed, heartfully sung Wavin' Flag music video as a tribute to Matt's (and World Cup 2010's) theme song. Get ready to smile, even if you have no idea who any of us are:



Just two weeks after the receipt of my anthology, its fringes are frayed due to my frequent flipping. Thank you, Kampala. Love you, Kampala. I'll miss you, Kampala!

**"Ode to Dorkis" (Rowell & Mackenzie, 2010), "A Haiku Biopsy" (Crozier, 2010) and "O Captain, My Captain: A Personalized and Sometimes Truly, Shockingly Touching Poem from Alison Boess" (Boess, 2010) were also allowed entry into the anthology, despite their inconsistency with consistency.